10 Rules for young guys dating cougars

Recently over at Novaseekers site we had a lively discussion on what young men want in a relationship. Its a good read I would suggest everyone go take a look. Anyway one poster mentioned how he felt the older guys (we took that as 40+) don't look out for the younger guys these days and I can see his point.

To that end I am gonna start giving advice here every so often, words of wisdom if you will that I have picked up over the years.

So here is the first for young guys dating cougars, which I suggest all young men should try a few times until they find a real woman closer to a reasonable age and without the warpaint in the cracks.

Enjoy!!!

1. Always play naive with a cougar. Do not try and act worldly. These women will respond to a crude opening line but then back way off they want to feel like they are the predator and you are the unsuspecting prey. The more innocent you appear the more agressive they will be thereby increasing your work to pleasure pay out. After the opening line they will feel it is their duty to break you in right.

2. When you get them in bed DO NOT try and hold off like some sex god. No thinking about baseball or world of warcraft talent specs. Just pop off pretty fast then tell them they are so HAWT you couldn't help yourself. Trust me here they will love you forever especially if you can manage to get excited for them again in about 10 minutes or so. If they are nice looking this shouldn't be too much of an issue but if they aren't "all that and a bag of fritos" well then the first comment will still keep them happy for a while and allow you to fall asleep.

3. During the pre-talk discussion work a few comments in about how young women refuse to or can't seem to give head worth a damn maybe even take the stance that no woman has ever even blessed you with such an act. It will almost assure you of some oral action in about 2 minutes flat once your alone with them. Usually of course these women are not very good at it either but never hurts to find out.

4. If they have large breasts and are wearing thin clothing then its a good bet they got some older guy to buy them for her. This is a good thing!!!! These women will always show them at the drop of a hat so do not hesitate to comment on them. Hey they worked hard to pay for these plastic boobs (usually in trade) and they are gonna get every penny out of them. Hum the barbie song when they flash them it helps put it in context.

5. If they have large breasts and are wearing heavy clothing or showing little cleavage then all bets are on naturally large hooters. OK warning going in, expect some sag but these women are usually more appreciative of younger guys so if you can bear it go for it. Once you start undressing them make it a point of kissing the stretch marks you will find. Women like these who can't handle the fact they are getting old have secret fantasies of young men kissing their stretch marks.

6. Do not look at the cougar's super hot young girl friends she tries to hang with. Even when one of these girls tries and gets your attention to make the old has been cougar feel bad just blow the young chick off. After all your goal is to get laid with minimum trouble and this is a sure way to get in the old chicks pants.

7. Women like these cougars have already managed to find, marry and divorce some other poor un-suspecting guy so they really don't care what you do for a living or how much money you make they already have an ATM. However if they do start to ask about your job or income remember this simple rule. Take the normal salary for the average worker in your area and add 10% then subtract 20% of that total for each year you think you are younger than the cougar. If you get to zero or negative numbers it doesn't matter anyway so just tell them you are in law school. If you don't make it to a negative number tell them your father left you a small trust fund.

8. Whatever you do during opening conversation do not mention your mother in any ANY context. Certainly do not say your mother has the same kind of car as they do or hair color or anything like that. Mentioning you have a mother is about the only thing that might send these cougars packing.

9. Do mention you have a girl friend even if you don't and do make sure that you somehow make these cougars think that girl friend is young. If they think they are getting over on some young girl they will start moistening right there on the spot.

10. When she gets you home do not look at her daughter, do not speak to her daughter more than saying hi if she introduces you. When she asks what you thought of her daughter say something like she reminded you of her without the extra sexiness of experience or some such bullshit. Later you can enjoy flirting with her daughter (provided she is over 18 of course) when the cougar isn't around.

If you follow even half of these rules you should have no trouble.

Its kinda sad that most Western women have fallen to such shallow acts as they have to keep their lagging self esteem up but I am to the point I really don't care about Western women and need to start helping the younger men.

To that end my advice to you young guys is use these middle age crones until you find something better. Hey its what the women are doing these days so until we can finally get some equality in the courts, government and social spending at least some men should make use of this time and with the cougars you don't have to act like a drug dealer or thug to get somewhere.